CAMPGROUND Hosting and Homesteading will be FUN!”, they said:

I’m told the first blog entry is the hardest. I would agree. Fortunately for me and my blog efforts, I had an interesting day yesterday to help me get the needed inspiration:

It all started when my Ass wondered off, ended up being caught in the act of vandalism, charged with breaking and entering, and nearly went to jail. How is this homestead or camping related?

Pull up a chair…

So yesterday I had a flash of energy and decided to build a keyhole fire pit for the campground. Being the adventurous soul I am, I decided to take my donkey Eeyore to the campground with me so he could graze and enjoy a change of pace. I loaded the 4wheeler with all my tools and a big ole smile, tied Eeyore to the cargo rack of the 4-Wheeler and off we went.

Being the good donkey he is, he followed along easily and then stood patiently while I untied him and turned him out to graze. (Did I mention there’s no fence?)

All went well as usual and I began to lay out the foundation for the fire pit and unload the block from the truck… 124 blocks to be exact. After about 2 hours of digging, leveling, and stacking blocks, I backed up to survey my handiwork…not bad! Now I’m inspired! I think I’ll go work on the road.

Dan and I have been using Fred (the tractor) to establish a road around the campground perimeter in hopes of giving a smooth ride for campers to get to their camp sites. So I hopped on the tractor and off I went. Woo Hoo! Check me out! I’m getting a ton done today!

After about 10 passes around the field, scraping here, and filling there, (and stopping twice to hide from the rain) I paused to admire my work. Looking down from my perch on the tractor I said aloud, “This is the life” to my Border Collie, Jack. Jack didn’t reply, he just flopped down in the shadow of the tractor tire to await the next round of scraping and filling.

I’m very lucky, you know-all of our animals are pretty cool, and for the most part, well behaved. Take Eeyore for example…

Wait…where’s Eeyore?

I looked around and to my surprise there was no white donkey in my green field. (He’s sort of hard to miss!) That’s weird…where would he have gone? He wouldn’t have crossed the creek; he hates getting his feet wet. He didn’t come past me while I was working in the fire pit, surely I would have seen him.

Great. I have lost my ass in the tall green grass.

I looked down at Jack, and envisioned a whole “Lassie! Where’s Timmy? Find Timmy!” scenario. When I mentioned this to Jack he just stared at me without changing expression. Clearly he was not on board with my Lassie vision..

The search was on! I won’t bore you with the details, but let’s just say I found places on our homestead I didn’t know we had until yesterday. I have the welts to prove it.

Where is that dumb donkey!?

After a couple of hours, I gave up and headed back toward the house. That’s when I saw them. The police officer and Eeyore walking up the road toward me. Eeyore looked embarrassed. The officer looked aggravated. Oh dear, this can’t be good…

As the officer got closer I realized it was our neighbor. Greaaaaaat. I tried to look chipper. “Hello G, I’ve been looking for this delinquent…where did you find him?”

He leveled a stern gaze at me, and said slowly, with more than a hint of irritation, “In my kitchen”.

I blinked. Then I realized my mouth was hanging open. Snapping my mouth shut, I nearly shouted, “WHAT did you say? “

“I found him In my kitchen when I got home from work- eating my organic honey. He also ate the dog food. He cleared the countertops. He didn’t wipe his feet before he came in, either. “

What do you say to something like that? I was dumbfounded. So I did the only thing I could do; I started laughing. (Well, giggling hysterically would probably be more accurate). What on earth do you say to that? I glanced at Eeyore, who had at least had the good sense to hang his head and look ashamed of himself.

“I’m so very sorry! I have NO idea what to say to that…um, can I come clean up the mess?”

“No, thank you. I’ll take care of it. You need to speak to him about breaking and entering. It’s against the law. Next time he’s going to jail.”

He handed me the lead line, and turned to leave. I stood there a second, then the appropriate response became clear to me. I called after him, “You wanna come to dinner Sunday?” He chuckled and waved over his shoulder as he kept walking. Now I know how Shrek felt.

And that’s how my ass nearly went to jail yesterday.

How did your day go?